ill communication.

most days i can honestly not decide whether i am angry, despondent or out and out emotionally destitute at the deplorable state of education and my fellow countryman's intellectual capability these days. it's usually a subject which makes me feel so hollow inside that i almost couldn't even watch the movie 'idiocracy' because i got so depressed that i teared up a little. i wouldn't say it if it weren't true.

i know that the field i work in currently probably exposes me to a higher percentage of underachievers than most. and one cannot discount the fact that most people in positions of any kind of authority have written off a lot of the underpriveledged as lazy and unsalvagable, which is just as disgusting as any afront to my intellect. and i know that the educational system is a broken and faltering piece of antiquated machinery that the government apparently prefers to keep like a starving feral child in the cold damp basement of sub-priority.

but, seriously? at what point do we hold people responsible for their own situation? when are we going to claim people accountable for their own actions and in-actions and stop sweeping every negative trait of 'humanity' under the rug of 'they can't help it, just the way they were raised, society was responsible for them and society failed them, so on and so on and on and on...'? i don't know. i really don't. one the one hand, i do believe that we should do whatever we can through taxes (as though the government uses those responsibly, hah!), charitable work/contributions, etc. to help people better themselves and their situations. but the other side of that is the fact that so many people seem to prefer to just be on welfare and drop out of highschool to have seven kids and collect foodstamps. but how can we regulate the people who sponge off of those programs without hurting the ones who genuinely need and want just a boost to help them take control of and improve the quality of their lives?

it's an optimistically grand idea to think of everyone as falling into the latter category. but, until you've met the people i've met, seen the pictures i've seen, and read the affidavits and seen the footage, don't try and sell me on some romanticized notion that people just need to be given a chance to shine and they'll 'seize the light', as it were.

but, i glower too viciously from my high horse.

all i can manage to do, most days, is find the humorous undertones in the effect these kinds of people have on my life. my favorite way to pass the time lately is to compile a list, with the help of a couple of the attorneys and a paralegal, of all of the great turns of phrase and incorrect/hilarious grammar usage we wade through from our clients. it sounds mean, but it keeps their words from tunneling holes through my brain and out my eye sockets.

the following is a short list of words misused, words invented, and some that i think should be considered by the good people at webster's in the spirit of their 'bootylicious' entry. yes, they did that.

this is but a small portion of the creative idioms that i am called upon daily to translate into a coherent presentation on the merits of the author's potential legal claims. envy me.

let us begin-

Transpond = Transfer
Reducted = Reduced
Conscionable Admission = Reasonable Suspicion
Erranibate = Eradicate
Acquisition = Accusation
Transmacate = Transfer
Satellation = Statute
Situtory = Situation
Resention = Represent
Profesticory = Professional
Prehensile = Reprehensible
Reconstitute = Responsible
Indisposition = Compensation (seriously)
Retubation = Retribution
Decree = Degree (as in- first 'decree' murder. this was not a one time type-o, either, but a phrase used throughout the letter at least half a dozen times.)

ladies and gentlemen, the english language is dying. bid her a fond farewell. or a frond frewdell.